“Fuck this wondering. Fuck this trying and trying. Fuck this belief that two people can become one ideal. Fuck this helplessness. Fuck this waiting for something to happen that probably won’t ever happen.”—Nick & Norah’s Infinite Playlist; David Levithan (via thingsyoudontforget)
Okay, I don’t want to start a rant about a Disney movie. I swear, I will not be that person. However; having just come home from seeing Tangled, (which, despite what I’m going to say next, is very cute, and I really liked it), I do have a few things to say about it.
First off, you should see it. It’s really cute, has a good soundtrack, and mark my words, it will be a broadway show. The overall message is really cute, and it’s cheesy, but not enough to make you puke.
First off. The first major thing that strikes me is…
NO ONE FUCKING LOOKS LIKE THAT. Okay. Some people do. And I don’t mean it in a bitter sense (…I’ll get to that later) I mean, dispite all the liberties cartoons take, this is a realistic shape, in a slightly exaggerated size. Not enough to be satirical. But just too much to be actually realistic. A lot of the movie had very realistic, and flattering figures, but her’s? It’s insane. Why couldn’t they have made her a bit more average, like her some of the other characters? It’s not like she was cartoony-skinny, or stylized, like so…
She was made to look very real, but just… so small. Opposed to Meg, who was just a charcuterie.
So that pissed me off. Struck a nerve. Irritated me. Whatever the hell you want to call it, it made me unhappy about myself.
…and moving right along.
I understand blonde/gold is the color of the sun. Sure I get that. But the way they talk about when Rapunzel’s hair turns brunette? Like it’s some sort of ordinary curse? Thanks a lot! Thank you, arian society. Appreciated that.
I feel as if this is mostly me, though. I mean. I want to say I’m happy with myself, but who the fuck am I kidding? I’m an insecure eighteen year old girl, who is loud, can be brash, has strong opinions, and likes logic over faith, but secretly (ha) has a crazily romantic side (I blame the old movies).
I’m … average. Basically. I’m not short, so I don’t have that “cute” deal going for me. I’m not tall, so there goes any chance I could ever have of fitting “bombshell” or “modelesque”.
I have dyed, brown hair that is generally dull, and never does anything (not like I enjoy wasting a lot of time on it, but whatever).
I am far from fitting the bill for a “gorgeous movie star,” I’ll be the first to tell you. I’m all makeup, have a baby face, and am very… plain and average. But, I mean, that’s … what it is.
This is me. This is me. This is everything in the world I am, and there is very little I can change about it. This is realistic.
I’m not hot, stunning, breathtaking, cute, or any other adjective you may use to describe Rapunzel in that picture up there. I’m a short side of average, and an over-weight, brunette chick. Maybe that’s where we get to the point of this post. I’m jealous of a cartoon. I’m not tall. Blonde. Leggy. The girl the guys clamor to get, or are nervous to talk to. But I’m generally pretty ok with who I am… most of the time. Even when I’m not, I keep that to myself.
I’m an eighteen year old girl, who is jealous of a cartoon.
Now, I have my literary (and the occasional cartoon) crush, but it’s nothing that evokes so much emotion from me where I walk out of the theater feeling completely inadequate, and want to never leave my tower, like Rapunzel… but it is this time.
Happy Christmas, everyone. I swear, besides this, it’s been a great day.
I love seeing this part of my family. My aunt, uncle, and three cousins. But when we are alone tomorrow, and I have to contend with my immediate family… And the mess of being blatently alone… And trying to hold this shit together… THEN I can’t handle it. I really dislike my brother and father. They constantly knock everything I do or say… And even things I don’t do or say. Christmas day, I always end up feeling like a worthless piece of shit. But for today, today I have the best Itslian family in the world. The greatest uncle and aunt, and most obnoxious, and hilarious cousins.
and now I just want to cry? And there is literally no reason. My eyes just feel like they need to cry or something. What the fuck. I want to tell myself to fucking snap out of it, but that makes me more irritated. I just want to sleep and not have to work tomorrow.